Melissa Ambrosini, a bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl and Open Wide, PurposeFULL, a keynote speaker, entrepreneur, and self-love teacher, regards toxic comparison as an illness in her book, Comparisonitis.
“Comparisonitis is when the act of comparing becomes unhealthy, toxic, and destructive.”
The book is divided into three parts:
The first part defines comparisonitis, enumerates its signs and symptoms, provides a self-assessment tool to measure one’s level of comparisonitis, and explains what the experts say about it.
The second part is about the ways to treat toxic comparison -- nipping it in the bud, improving one's mindset, living in a high vibration, and prioritizing the important things in life.
The last part explores the four areas where comparisonitis is prevalent -- our bodies, friendships, social media, and parenting.
Thoughts...Thoughts...Thoughts...
Comparisonitis is surprisingly good! The author balanced her own narrative with research studies, practical tips, and applicable exercises that encourage self-reflection and self-transformation. Also, readers can download a separate, free workbook on her website, but proof of purchase is required. Unfortunately, I only received the Advance Reader Copy so I don’t have a receipt to submit to get the workbook. But then, the exercises in the book are still doable.
As for the book-length, it is just right. The friendly tone makes it easier to read. Ambrosini is sincere, honest, and courageous in sharing her own fight against comparisonitis as a friend, writer, model, influencer, and, mother.
What struck me the most are the two views in life: the pie perspective and the candle consciousness.
From a pie perspective, opportunities are like slices of pie. When one slice is taken, there’s less pie left for you. In life, when other people do something grand, you feel like there’s less or nothing left for you. This mindset comes from having scarcity thinking.
Contrarily, the candle consciousness takes the abundance and infinite mindset. Every one of us holds a lighted candle in a dark room with equal brightness. Blowing the light out of another person's candle does not make your candle shine brighter. When one candle is not burning, you can light it again using your flame. In this perspective, all of us are shining, all of us are winning.
Comparisonitis is a must-read for parents, students, young professionals, influencers, or anyone who is already fed up with the destructive habit of unhealthy comparison.
Thank you, Melissa Ambrosini, BenBella Books, and NetGalley for the Advance Reader Copy for the chance to review this book. I understand that I would give Comparisonitis an honest review.
Discussion Questions
What comes to your mind when you hear the word “compare”?
What do you think about the expert’s explanation on comparison?
In what ways people suffer from comparisonitis?
What do you think about the exercises in the book? Were they helpful?
Explain your idea of comparison before and after reading the book.
Further Information
Title: Comparisonitis: How to Stop Comparing Yourself To Others and Be Genuinely Happy
Author: Melissa Ambrosini
Genre: Self-help
Publisher: BenBella Books (May 11, 2021)
Publication Date: May 11, 2021
Print length: 200 pages
ASIN: B08JQKNKN1
Quotes
“I hadn’t seen Marielle in the seven years since we’d left high school, so when she phoned me out of the blue saying she was in town for the weekend, I jumped at the chance to catch up.”
